This took me a while, i hope you guys like it!
"Boy! The Red Beamer sure is great- it's Vault-Tec's Favourite Junior Advanced Energy Rifle! Zap those radioactive critters and give the kids armfuls of year-round fun with the RED BEAMER - suitable for indoor or outdoor use!
RED BEAMERS offer superior accuracy and dependability - we make 'em with SCIENCE! It's a first-class, non-stop, quick-operating, light-weight laser rifle suitable for every purse and purpose!
In these troubled times, give your clean-cut junior patriot a fightin' chance with the RED BEAMER! Available at SUPER-DUPER MARTS NATIONWIDE!"